I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize