took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
