Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
