you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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