Got a toothbrush?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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