This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
