I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
is it fun? or sober?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize