That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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