Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
