I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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