Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize