dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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