i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize