I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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