ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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