I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
