If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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