just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
