I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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