Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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