what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
