there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
