Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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