dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he shaved USA in his pubs
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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