dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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