maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.