Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?

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  (773): Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman? http://tfl.nu/4514
  Replies (28) Good night (2537) Bad night (746)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.

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  (612): we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life. http://tfl.nu/eg8c
  Replies (15) Good night (4763) Bad night (672)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever

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  (434): The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever http://tfl.nu/goyi
  Replies (22) Good night (7772) Bad night (1287)
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  (631): View more from New York

  The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.

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  (631): The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack. http://tfl.nu/734p
  Replies (8) Good night (4266) Bad night (987)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.

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  (978): apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material. http://tfl.nu/gr1e
  Replies (12) Good night (2272) Bad night (1219)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.

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  (206): I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well. http://tfl.nu/k69f
  Replies (3) Good night (2471) Bad night (648)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.

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  (540): Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man. http://tfl.nu/q2i0
  Replies (6) Good night (702) Bad night (1334)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.

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  (914): Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/4mfa
  Replies (5) Good night (1759) Bad night (594)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  omg. MEgabus. stoned.

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Theres these two guys talking.

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  (815): omg. MEgabus. stoned. (815): Theres these two guys talking. http://tfl.nu/fp55
  Replies (12) Good night (1365) Bad night (693)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Penises. Everywhere.

  (772): View more from Florida

  You're. Welcome.

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  (813): Penises. Everywhere. (772): You're. Welcome. http://tfl.nu/k2kj
  Replies (5) Good night (2343) Bad night (599)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire

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  (240): Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire http://tfl.nu/bhj4
  Replies (1) Good night (995) Bad night (542)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me

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  (615): Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me http://tfl.nu/3qkc
  Replies (1) Good night (968) Bad night (540)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face

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  (703): there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face http://tfl.nu/al6a
  Replies (2) Good night (656) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.

  (469): View more from Texas

  I have the flu.

  (214): View more from Texas

  I don't give a shit

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  (214): I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now. (469): I have the flu. (214): I don't give a shit http://tfl.nu/yb1n
  Replies (12) Good night (1345) Bad night (426)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.

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  (519): I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED. http://tfl.nu/y580
  Replies (1) Good night (631) Bad night (308)

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