Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me. http://tfl.nu/79qg
  Replies (57) Good night (4498) Bad night (1121)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Marry him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song. (1-503): Marry him http://tfl.nu/vquy
  Replies (39) Good night (9112) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome. http://tfl.nu/gu2z
  Replies (29) Good night (5206) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake. http://tfl.nu/b27h
  Replies (19) Good night (569) Bad night (5062) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend... http://tfl.nu/gkjq
  Replies (60) Good night (2490) Bad night (6204) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail http://tfl.nu/dt1f
  Replies (5) Good night (3169) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly. http://tfl.nu/2jju
  Replies (9) Good night (2421) Bad night (811) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me

  (310): View more from California

  maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me (310): maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA http://tfl.nu/mrhy
  Replies (1) Good night (1855) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant. http://tfl.nu/yfmm
  Replies (7) Good night (1229) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend. http://tfl.nu/pm1j
  Replies (13) Good night (2996) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them. http://tfl.nu/a4vh
  Replies (9) Good night (527) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice" http://tfl.nu/xdkd
  Replies (3) Good night (984) Bad night (318) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good. http://tfl.nu/gr5l
  Replies (1) Good night (580) Bad night (225) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  You should come by for the fire station blow job tour

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): You should come by for the fire station blow job tour http://tfl.nu/ymfu
  Replies (3) Good night (651) Bad night (209) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off. http://tfl.nu/33ez
  Replies (1) Good night (484) Bad night (244) Order T-Shirt

Randomize