k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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