Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.

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  (313) 1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head. http://tfl.nu/u795
  Replies (0) Good night (1801) Bad night (843)
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  (212): View more from New York

  so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.

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  (212): so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is. http://tfl.nu/r3y5
  Replies (8) Good night (954) Bad night (1577)
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  (650): View more from California

  Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair

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  (650): Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair http://tfl.nu/e96b
  Replies (10) Good night (1058) Bad night (2080)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.

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  (704): She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone. http://tfl.nu/3kwt
  Replies (42) Good night (888) Bad night (3723)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.

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  (603): all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter. http://tfl.nu/9v6o
  Replies (17) Good night (4982) Bad night (598)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad

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  (602): hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad http://tfl.nu/sh9o
  Replies (45) Good night (1009) Bad night (9710)
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  (845): View more from New York

  maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut

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  (845): maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut http://tfl.nu/29rz
  Replies (14) Good night (3714) Bad night (775)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?

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  (614): over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read? http://tfl.nu/2tdc
  Replies (13) Good night (2804) Bad night (879)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.

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  (570): I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around. (1-570): It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am. http://tfl.nu/ckp3
  Replies (8) Good night (4961) Bad night (1200)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!

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  (203): I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?! http://tfl.nu/b8ik
  Replies (11) Good night (1288) Bad night (906)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?

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  (603): Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy? http://tfl.nu/plt7
  Replies (1) Good night (531) Bad night (367)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?

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  (614): Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text? http://tfl.nu/s4pf
  Replies (3) Good night (565) Bad night (329)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.

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  (780): The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn. http://tfl.nu/zubn
  Replies (3) Good night (1544) Bad night (424)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes

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  (802): Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes http://tfl.nu/zv2h
  Replies (1) Good night (495) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.

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  (816): He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call. http://tfl.nu/jkpw
  Replies (3) Good night (296) Bad night (708)

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