So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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