the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
