Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Randomize
