The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I could make wine with my vomit
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
