His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
