Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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