where does the pee come out of this thing
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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