You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
