Heybabeimwearingurpanties
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
