Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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