is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize