You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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