im gay
i know
yea but for you.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
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She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
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It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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