Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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