You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
