He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize