Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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