i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
