so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just blew my weed a kiss
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize