: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize