Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
