Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
3 2 1 whiskey
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
