my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
