We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
