i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
