You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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