Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
