I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
