I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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