Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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