i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
